Make Austin Great
Just Once
Austin Dispatches | No. 194 | March 5, 2017 |
The February Tribeza
contains a feature on a psychologist who treats patients suffering election
distress.[1]
By that measure, I should be wearing a straightjacket in a padded room after
decades of unsatisfactory political results.[2]
For example, in the Feb. 17
Austin Chronicle, Co-Editor/Publisher Louis Black moans:
The Trump administration is
disturbing enough in and of itself, but what is even harsher to handle is the
absolute glee of many of its most vocal supporters not that finally they are in
complete control of the government but rather at the despair and anguish of the
left/progressives/Democrats. They seem to be taking an untainted joy in those
folks having their ideas and policies vanquished. It is not that they’ve won. It
is that those they don’t like have lost.
There is all this gloating,
all the smug, self-assuring pleasure that this country’s atheist, socialist,
pro-Muslim, bleeding-heart, anti-American left is having their faces rubbed in
their own shit.[3]
Yeah, so?
Some editorialist in the
Dec. 1 La Prensa criticizes Donald Trump’s victory
as a sign the United States shares Latin American political “pathologies,”
including machismo and strongman rule, then declares “… it is perhaps up to
Latin immigrants to teach the U.S. about deepening democratization.”[4]
This editorialist displays a shocking lack of irony for a Latin intellectual.
His piece ignores about 29 percent of Hispanics nationwide voting for El Donald.[5]
So perhaps the increasing Hispanic population is the cause, not the solution, of
the pathologies he decries, since “Latin America” has never been synonymous with
“good government.”[6]
Nevertheless,
my euphoria at Trump’s upset and upsetting victory and accession to office wanes
with each successive payment for my mandatory ObamaCare
policy (total cost so far: $11,107.87). His administration and the
GOP-controlled Congress behave like low-energy losers toward the paramount issue
of making my bank accounts great again (or, great
for the first time, depending on which one).[7]
Furthermore, I must stay
circumspect about all this in a county whose voters overwhelming chose Hillary
Clinton for president and have been expressing outwardly their outrage at the
outcome ever since.[8]
The Chronicle has mutated into a monomaniacal anti-Trump rag, fulminating
against the president in every article of every issue, even the restaurant
reviews.[9] Jan. 20,
thousands of anti-Trump protestors inconvenienced evening rush hour commuters
downtown while protesting in the wrong city.[10]
These protestations are of a
piece with the local power elite’s mismanagement and
mush-headedness that have caused the rest of us so many problems. Even NPR
finally noticed Austin’s increasingly unaffordable, driving out regular
residents and artists alike.[11]
Moreover, the anti-Trump focus serves the power elite and its flunkies and dupes
as a convenient distraction from Austin’s problems, the power elite’s role in
causing them, and the failure of the elite to confront its discredited worldview
as the source of both. Alternately, if these people were really upset, they’d be
joining the local Red Guards.[12]
Except they’re also terrified of guns.[13]
Of recent note:
The Travis County power
elite’s fondness for foreign trespassers, exemplified by stereotypically
indolent Sheriff Sally Hernandez, is beginning to cost the county state money.
This may the one thing to bring the power elite to heel.[16]
So far, however, Austin and county officials’ actions and rhetoric indicate that
given a choice of serving you, or serving foreign trespassers, they’ll serve the
foreign trespassers every time.[17]
You’ll note they aren’t publicly winking at us not paying taxes, fees or
licenses, or ignoring regulations.
Simultaneously, the Jan. 27
Chronicle laments that the Texas Legislature once again is interfering in local
matters, though the lament’s scribe acknowledges – briefly – “… an aspect of
this is self-inflicted.”[18] To
elaborate, if the Austin power elite would content itself with being in charge,
and ceased violating our rights with its meddling regulations, the Lege wouldn’t
have to intervene. Speaking of the Lege, a Travis County grand jury indicted the
Democratic representative for Pflugerville.[19]
Austin’s finally rid of
Police Chief Art Acevedo, a would-be caudillo naturally praised by the Chronicle
for his “progressive” (i.e., statist, citizen-disarmament) ways. Unfortunately,
now Houstonians have to contend with him.[20]
Ace’s departure comes as local publications have been investigating the collapse
of performance in the APD’s crime lab.[21]
The police department has
second thoughts about the chief forensics officer it hired to run that failed
lab, because only now did the department review his college grades from years
ago.[22]
This last aspect is most troubling. For years, I listed my college degree on my
resume, but no prospective
employer or client ever asked about it, possibly because they didn’t want to be
reminded of their college experience.[23]
Then, when I dropped my educational qualifications for reasons of space,
everybody became concerned: “Did you even go to college?” I wasn’t in a position
to give a smart-alecky answer.[24]
The manager of Austin’s
Music and Entertainment Division blamed bureaucracy as the reason for quitting
his job.[25]
In a display of rare good sense, Black’s Dec. 2 column questions whether the
city’s leadership hasn’t undermined the music scene, and strongly doubts
government involvement will help.[26]
If he and the rest of the staff applied this level of thinking to other matters
consistently, the Chronicle might become almost as insightful as
Austin Dispatches.
Instead, the Jan. 27 issue
carries a feature about how musicians in Austin are unappreciated and
underemployed.[27]
In other words, like most occupations in most eras. The feature doesn’t consider
that most local musicians are mediocre and not something worth our entertainment
dollars. Even more unfathomable to the Chronicalista mindset is the possibility
that Austin just isn’t the hip, cultured, sophisticated burg its self-proclaimed
arbiters have insisted for so long, and maybe it never was.[28]
The arbiters just fell for their own hype.
Then the Feb. 3 Chronicle
frets lowlifes are threatening the viability of clubs on Red River Street.
Better still, we have the spectacle of Chronicalistas whining the cops aren’t
arresting enough people for the sort of behavior they usually extol.[29]
Furthermore, the Chronicle
gripes state government isn’t providing enough incentives for film, television
and video game production.[30]
If Texas lured manufacturing with such incentives, the Chronicle would denounce
it as corrupt and oppressive. And though the Dec. 23 article strives to express
sober concern about the state of the arts in Austin, the Chronicle can barely
conceal its schadenfreude at reporting the Statesman has laid off its arts
critic from the staff, because of declining readership.[31]
The
Jan. 27 Business Journal and the March 3 Chronicle report the proposed new
comprehensive land-use and zoning code is even worse than what we have now, with
zoning supporters denouncing the details and a spate of planners fleeing town.
CodeNEXT? Code Hexed is more like it.
[32] Also, a
Mexican special-interest group has denounced CodeNEXT as a “tool of racism.”
This group likely doesn’t understand that zoning itself was also deployed as a
tool of racism. If it did understand, we might finally be rid of zoning.[33]
Rising property taxes
claimed another longtime Mexican restaurant.[34]Austin
Community College tried to get a computer company to move its offices into the
Highland Mall Campus to fill the floorspace. Then the deal fell through because
the company never signed a lease.[35]
Perhaps for these reasons,
the Austin Public Health department reports that suicide is the second-leading
cause of death among Millennials.[36]
Neighborhood News
My refrigerator’s compressor
died. Bad enough the appliance only functioned for a year
after replacing the previous unit that only lasted
four years. The London broil and cheesecake I bought for my birthday dinner
began assuming room temperature before a repairman arrived.[37]
However, the fridge malfunction served to age the steak. I seasoned both sides
of the cut liberally, pan fried it, and salvaged my birthday entrée.
On Jan. 8, a burst water
pipe in my apartment building triggered the alarms,
same as six years ago. Gradually, the shrill noise – think a feminist
lecture, only not as monotone – drove the tenants out into the cold. I didn’t
know so many owned dogs. That same week, the smoke detector attached to my
dining room ceiling continued chirping after I replaced the battery, a sign the
detector needed replacement.
The Feb. 10 Business Journal
reports the operator of the shuttered Weirdos is attempting to reopen the bar
near the original site.[38]
On Feb. 17, I witnessed the
aftermath of a collision at the northbound on-ramp to MoPac Expressway near
Parmer Lane. A Feb. 16 traffic incident took out a light signal post at
Stonehollow Drive and Gracy Farms Lane. The Statesman’s Traffic Web page
reported collisions on Nov. 29 and Jan. 27 at MoPac and Parmer, on Dec. 1 at
MoPac and Braker Lane, on Dec. 6 at MoPac and Duval Road, on Dec. 17 at MoPac
and Loop 360 and at Research and Metric boulevards, on Jan. 3 at Parmer and
Metric and at Kramer Lane and Metric, on Jan. 12 at Stonehollow and Metric, on
Jan. 18 at southbound MoPac between Parmer and Duval, on Feb. 20 at Burnet Road
and Braker, and on Feb. 21 at northbound MoPac and Park Bend Drive.
Fire officials blamed
smoking materials for burning five residents out of their apartment complex off
Cedar Bend Drive on Jan. 14.[39]
Numerous more stores and
offices have opened in the neighborhood.[40]
A Mexican restaurant has expanded.[41]
A brewery has expanded.[42]
A Louisianan seafood restaurant at The Market at Parmer Lane shopping plaza has
closed.[43]
On the Town
Dec. 6:
A group of students served free pancakes hot off
the griddle outside the entrance to the UT main library. Between that and my
courtesy borrower’s card, I’m probably getting more out of the university than
the students. On the drive home, I witnessed the aftermath of a three-way
smash-up at Braker Lane and the southbound frontage road of Interstate 35.
Jan. 29:
I attended the 50th-anniversary block
party of KMFA-FM, on East Fifth Street.[44]
I ate a free cupcake with icing thicker than a Democrat’s comprehension of how
to appeal to blue-collar voters.[45]
As I left, I saw a couple of hipsters trying to peddle in a straight line fall
off their expensive bikes.
For New Year’s Eve, the
Chronicle listings included three ‘80s-esque theme parties, including one that
attempted to recreate 1989. The 1989 subtheme appeared to be accurate, for once.
Unfortunately, the club chose to honor English fop bands, as a then-classmate
termed them.[46]
Cultural Canapés
Among last year’s best books
is “Seinfeldia,” a comprehensive look at the successful sitcom.[47]
Several readers are surprised I didn’t start watching regularly until the fourth
season, on Sis’ recommendation.[48]
(She learned of the show from a TV commercial.)[49]
Though I knew vaguely of Jerry Seinfeld from among the herd of comics during the
stand-up boom in the '80s,[50]
the show’s early seasons were semi-obscure, coinciding with my
college years when I wasn't
watching much television anyway. Then I graduated, entered the workforce full
time, bought a set and VCR, and caught up with the earlier seasons when it
entered syndication in 1995.[51]
In the Dec. 9 Chronicle,
women dramaturges deplore “hypermasculine” theater.[52]
In doing so, they sound like the scolding antagonist in David Mamet’s “Oleanna.”[53]
Meanwhile, the Jan. 24 Daily Texan doesn’t ask whether a new play about the LBJ
presidency realistically depicts him berating subordinates while squatting on
the toilet.[54]
Thanks to numerous Web
sites, I have now seen more than 100 theatrical films released or debuted in
2014 that I can recommend. The December issue of GQ proclaims Houston the next
food capital of America.[55]
Business News
The neighborhood H-E-B
stocks General Mills’ Girl Scouts cookie cereal.[56]
On the boxes the cereal flakes look larger than the
actual cookies these days.
Notes in the Margins
My late maternal
grandparents years ago told me about the neighboring girl who became a Wall
Street floor trader, and they sent me a copy of her memoir of the experience,
one of my publishing picks for 1991.[57]
More recently, Laura Pedersen wrote another memoir, of her Buffalo, N.Y.,
childhood, where she devotes a page to describing my grandparents, to my
pleasant surprise.[58]
Home | Archives |
NOTES
[1] Yancy,
Mary Garwood. “Feeling Residual Dis-Ease Over Election 2016? You’ve Got
Company.” Tribeza Feb. 2017: 76-78.
[2] AD No. 159
(Dec. 25, 2012); AD No. 179 (Nov. 26, 2014); CQ Press Guide to U.S.
Elections, Vol. I-II, 5th rev. ed. Washington, D.C., 2010; Eisler, Dan.
“Re: Sarah Silverman.” E-mail to Mike Eisler, 5 Feb. 2017.
[3] Black,
Louis. “The U.S. Swings Like a Pendulum Do.” AC 17 Feb. 2017: 8.
[4] Von
Vacano, Diego. “Opinion: Trump Embraces Caudillo Politics As Latin America
Shuns It.” La Prensa 1 Dec. 2016: 2.
[5] Hunt,
Albert R. “From Surges to the Map, 4 Election Myths to Discard.” Grand
Rapids (Mich.) Press 2 Dec. 2016: A6.
[6] Johnson,
Paul. The Birth of the Modern: World Society 1815-1830. New York
City: HarperCollins Publishers, 1991: 627-632.
[7] Gawande,
Atul. “Trumpcare.” NYR 6 Mar. 2017: 21-22.
[8] Election
results. AC 11 Nov. 2016: 16.
[9] Fury,
Melody. “Review: Old Thousand.” AC 10 Feb. 2017: 46.
[10] King,
Michael. “It Ain’t Just About Trump.” AC 20 Jan. 2017: 10+; Marloff, Sarah.
“Keep Marching!” AC 27 Jan. 2017: 12; Schwartz, Jeremy, Taylor Goldenstein,
and Philip Jankowski. “Thousands in Austin Stage Anti-Trump Protests,
March.” AAS 21 Jan. 2017: A1+.
[11] “In
Austin, a Boom in Short-Term Rentals Brings a Backlash.” Narr. Wade Goodwyn.
All Things Considered. NPR. 9 Feb. 2017; King. “You Say Affordable,
She Says Tomato.” AC 3 Mar. 2017: 14; Novak, Shonda. “As Housing Market’s
Heat Eases, Rents Take Breather.” AAS 5 Feb. 2017: F1.
[12] Caterine,
Joseph. “Enemies of the State.” AC 17 Feb. 2017: 20-21+.
[13] Black.
“It Is the Worst of Times, It Is the Worst of Times.” AC 24 Feb. 2017: 8-9.
[14] AD No. 80n7
(June 21, 2005); Theis, Michael. “Austin Likes Its ‘Weird’ Stores, but Will
Hot Economy Price Them Out?” ABJ 24 Feb. 2016: 8.
[15] Theis.
“2016: The Year Austin Discovered Crisis.” ABJ 30 Dec. 2016: 10.
[16] Dreher,
Lisa. “Gov. Abbott Cuts Travis County Funds.” DT 2 Feb. 2017: 1-2;
Hoffberger, Chase. “ICE Freezeout in Travis.” AC 27 Jan. 2017: 11;
Goldenstein and Plohetski. “Abbott Keeps Vow, Trims Travis Grants.” AAS 2
Feb. 2017: A1+; Marloff. “Abbott Cuts County Funding.” AC 3 Feb. 2017: 13.
[17] Dreher.
“Austinites Rally Against Ban, Wall.” DT 27 Feb. 2017: 1-2; Dreher.
“Hundreds Protest Anti-Sanctuary City Bill.” DT 1 Mar. 2017: 1-2; Plohetski,
and Sean Collins Walsh. “Inmate’s Near-Exit ‘Sanctuary’ Target.” AAS 15 Feb.
2017: A1.
[18]
Whittaker, Richard. “State-Governed Local Control.” AC 27 Jan. 2017: 16.
[19]
Whittaker. “Dawnna Dukes Indicted.” AC 20 Jan. 2017: 16.
[20] Angulo,
Angela M. “La Partida del Jefe de la Gente.” El Mundo 23 Nov. 2016:
A2; Hoffberger. “”Acevedo out, Manley in, Search for Permanent Chief Is on.”
AC 25 Nov. 2016: 23; “Austin Police Chief Takes Top Cop Job in Houston.” CIN
Nov. 2016, Northwest Austin ed.: 23; King. “What’s Past and What’s Present.”
AC 25 Nov. 2016: 16.
[21] Marloff.
“Crime Scene Investigation.” AC 2 Dec. 2016: 24+; Marloff. “ ‘Everything Is
on Hold.’ ” AC 24 Feb. 2017: 16-17.
[22]
Plohetski, and Philip Jankowski. “Foresnic Lab Leader’s Hiring Exposed
Flaws.” AAS 8 Jan. 2017: A1+.
[23] AD No.
148 (Jan. 1, 2012), p. 5.
[24] Mad’s
Al Jaffee Spews Out Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions. New York City:
Signet, 1968.
[25] “Austin
Music Division Director Quits.” ABJ 17 Feb. 2017: 8.
[26] Black.
“An Immodest Proposal.” AC 2 Dec. 2016: 6.
[27] Sisson,
Leslie. “Musician Employment Service of Austin.” AC 27 Jan. 2017: 48+.
[28] AD No.
138 (Jan. 13, 2011); AD No. 149, op. cit.; AD No. 176 (July 6, 2014).
[29] Curtin,
Kevin. “It’s Like a Jungle Sometimes.” AC 3 Feb. 2017: 20+.
[30]
Whittaker. “Money Shot.” AC 27 Jan. 2017: 36-37.
[31]
Schwaiger, Seth Orion. “Not Very
Statesman-like.” AC 23 Dec. 2016: 28.
[32] Barbaro,
Nick. “The New Apartheid?” AC 3 Mar. 2017: 12; Pritchard, Caleb. “DiGiuseppe
Dips Out on Austin, CodeNEXT.” AC 3 Mar. 2017: 13; Theis. “Cracking
CodeNEXT: The Biggest Issue to Hit Modern Austin Is Here.” ABJ 27 Jan. 2017:
4-5.
[33] AD No.
133n13 (May 4, 2010); Barbaro.
“Tool of Racism?” AC 24 Feb. 2017: 12.
[34] Pope,
Colin. “El Gallo Site Needs a New Life.” ABJ 27 Jan. 2017: 3.
[35] “ACC
Moves on Without Rackspace.” ABJ 10 Feb. 2017: 6; Whittaker. “Rackspace
Backs Out.” AC 10 Feb. 2017: 13.
[36] Scaccia,
Annamarya. “Suicide Rates in Travis County.” AC 20 Jan. 2017: 15.
[37] LaFrieda,
Pat, and Carolynn Carreño. Meat: Everything You Need to Know. New
York City: Atria Books, 2014: 176, 180.
[38] AD No.
180n33 (Feb. 10, 2015); Buchholz,
Jan. “Weirdos Music Venue Owner Plans Comeback in North Austin.” ABJ 10 Feb.
2017: 6.
[39] Barrios,
Nicole. “Blotter.” AAS 16 Jan. 2017: B3.
[40] Barr,
Greg. “A Bank Branch With a Startup Vibe.” ABJ 2 Dec. 2016: 4-5; Blackwell,
Kathy. “The Art of Living.” Austin Way Winter 2016: 116+; Chung,
Frani. “Eat. Drink. Love!” Austin Way Winter 2016: 48+; Denney, Amy.
“New Domain Northside Development Aids Local Businesses.” CIN 26 Jan. 2017,
Northwest Austin ed.: 1+; Denney. “North Austin Faces Boom in Office Space
in Next Few Years With New Construction.” CIN Dec. 2016, Northwest Austin
ed.: 17; Guzman, Andrea. “Double Vision.” Austin Way Winter 2016: 64;
“In Progress.” ABJ 24 Feb. 2017: 13; “More at The Domain.” ABJ 10 Feb. 2017:
17; “Now Open.” CIN Nov. 2016, Northwest Austin ed.: 7; “Now Open.” CIN Dec.
2016, Northwest Austin ed.: 4; “Now Open.” CIN Jan. 2017, Northwest Austin
ed.: 4; “Now Open.” CIN Feb. 2017, Northwest Austin ed.: 7; “Pacific
Northwest Outfitter, Filson, Comes to the Domain Northside.” Tribeza
Dec. 2016: 43.
[41]
“Expansions.” CIN Nov. 2016, Northwest Austin ed.: 7.
[42] Theis.
“First Look.” ABJ 9 Dec. 2016: A10.
[43]
“Closings.” CIN Dec. 2016, Northwest Austin ed.: 5.
[44]
“Community.” AC 27 Jan. 2017: 30.
[45] Kuhn, David Paul. The Neglected Voter: White Men and the Democratic Dilemma. New York City: Palgrave Macmillan, 2007.
[46] “New
Year’s Guide.” AC 23 Dec. 2016: 35.
[47]
Armstrong, Jennifer Keishin. Seinfeldia: How a Show About Nothing Changed
Everything. New York City: Simon & Schuster, 2016.
[48]
Bjorklund, Dennis. Seinfeld Reference: The Complete Encyclopedia With
Biographies, Character Profiles & Episode Summaries. Los Gatos, Calif.:
Smashwords Edition, 2012: 45.
[49]
Bjerregaard, Corey. “Re: A Question About Nothing.” E-mail to D. Eisler, 19
Sep. 2015.
[50] Adler, J.
“I Hear America Zinging.” Newsweek 28 Sep. 1988: 60; Tracy, Kathleen.
Jerry Seinfeld: The Entire Domain. Secaucus, N.J.: Birch Lane Press,
1998: Ch. 3-4.
[51] Adjust
Your Tracking. Romark Entertainment/VHShitfest, 2013; Campbell, W.
Joseph. 1995: The Year the Future Began. Oakland, Calif.: U of
California P, 2015; D. Eisler.
“A Question About Nothing.” E-mail to Bjerregaard, 20 Aug. 2015; Rewind
This! Imperial PolyFarm Productions, 2013; Tracy, op. cit., 187.
[52] Weaver,
Shanon. “Is the Play the Thing, Though?” AC 9 Dec. 2016: 32-33.
[53]
Oleanna. The Samuel Goldwyn Co., 1994.
[54] AD No. 96n38
(Feb. 6, 2007); Cobbe, Elizabeth. “History Repeats.” AC 3 Feb. 2017: 30;
O’Hanlon, Morgan. “ ‘The Great Society’ Chronicles Johnson Presidency on
Stage.” DT 24 Jan. 2017: 8.
[55] Chang,
David. “The Next Global Food Mecca Is In … Texas?!” GQ Dec. 2016: 114.
[56] Wohl,
Jessica. “Marketer A List 2016.” Advertising Age 5 Dec. 2016: 17.
[57] AD No.
114 (July 27, 2008); AD No. 190 (Aug. 30, 2016); Pedersen, Laura, and F.
Peter Model. Play Money: My Brief but Brilliant Career on Wall Street.
New York City: Crown Publishers, 1991.
[58] Pedersen.
Buffalo Gal: A Memoir. Golden, Colo.: Fulcrum, 2008: 152-153.
[59]
Burroughs, William S. Exterminator!: A Novel. New York City: Viking
Press, 1973: 93; D. Eisler. “Give Thanks.” E-mail to Dennis Lucey et al., 24
Nov. 2016.