After years of smirking at major inclement weather, one disturbance finally disturbed my life.[1] Tropical Storm Harvey knocked out power on my block for 10 hours the evening of Aug. 26 and dislodged the eaves gutter on the east side of my building.[2] The dangling gutter still bangs against the stairwell railing when the wind blusters like Bill O’Reilly.[3] Regardless, when Austin Energy restored the power, my life merely returned to its plight before the storm.

And that’s the best of it. For example, U.S. Sen. John McCain’s grandstanding vote to stymie ObamaCare repeal did to my financial future what he used to do to jets as a Navy flyboy.[4]

Austin Death Watch

Austin and Travis County have jointly opened a Sobriety Center as an alternative to jail for public intoxication. This means you should check the center first if you need to contact one of our public officials, based on their frequent past arrests.[5]

The Aug. 25 Chronicle reports the City has forfeited more than $9 million in state monies because of the power elite’s suspect obsession with letting some fag in a dress shit in a women’s restroom.[6] The same power elite’s been using Pflugerville for years as a convenient dumping ground for blacks it’s driven out of Austin.[7] Now the local papers are tut-tuting over Pflugerville’s newfound racial problem.[8] I remember when Pflugerville was boring.

Texas Journey and Community Impact Newspaper both report Austin has predictably embraced aggravating road designs under the guise of safety devised by the Swedes, a nation of goose-stepping meddlers, busybodies and scolds who nevertheless let Muslims run amok in their country.[9] Knowing our domestic goose-steppers as I do, they were probably smitten with these designs just because they’re European. Meanwhile, the Aug. 29 Statesman reports Capital Metro’s train safety control system costs $14 million more than estimated and still doesn’t work.[10]

Neighborhood News

Elsewhere in the neighborhood, the Statesman’s Traffic Web page reported collisions at Hobby Horse Court and Burnet Road on Aug. 21, at Metric Boulevard and the westbound frontage road of Research Boulevard on Aug. 22, at Rutland Drive and Metric on Aug. 25, at Parmer Lane and Tomanet Trail on Aug. 28, and at Research and MoPac Expressway on Aug. 31.

Ownership of Metric Commercial Center has changed. HomeAway has leased a building at The Domain, where two clothing stores and a doll shop have opened.[11] A software company has leased an office at Braker Pointe.[12]

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