Austin Dispatches | No. 209 | Sep. 8, 2018 |
I first noticed something
darting behind me in the rearview mirror on the drive home. Age, heat, and the
breeze from the need to roll the windows down in the triple-degree weather had
loosened the interior liner by the left rear passenger door.[1]
According to research,
fixing the problem could cost almost as much as my car’s
purchase price. I couldn’t justify that expense, if only because the
odometer mileage recently passed 100,000. However,
a co-worker recommended 3M adhesive spray. Last weekend, I placed tarps over the
interior, donned mask, gloves and googles, sprayed the adhesive onto the liner
fabric and foam, and smoothed the interior section with a cheap paint roller.[2] So far,
the fix holds.
Jester-in-Chief
Maybe my attitude is
completely irresponsible, but I enjoy the almost daily spectacle of the entire
Beltway establishment – journalists, politicos and bureaucrats – in
unprecedented unity against President Trump. This proves even to mainstream news
audiences that the supposed differences in the capital are and were fake –
hitherto something only marginal radicals claimed.
Furthermore, how this
spectacle is happening amuses me. Trump is pretty buffoonish himself, but his
foes are so outraged and distraught about him that they’ve lost their dignity
and behave like bumbling, crazed ninnies. Really, they presume to run things and
that’s the best they can manage against him? The Washington antics are one step
up from a pie fight.
We once had to wait until
11:30 Saturday nights for an outlandish take on politics the politicians now
provide themselves every day.[3]
No wonder the satirists hate Trump: He’s made them redundant.
On the Town
Aug. 25:
I received an impromptu lesson in the basics of
kizomba.[4]
Aug. 27:
I witnessed the aftermath of a collision at
Research Boulevard and Ohlen Road.
Sep. 5:
At a staff lunch, an officemate began comically
ranting about the erroneous use of “chicken fried” on menus to describe anything
breaded and fried that isn’t chicken, e.g., “chicken fried steak.” This lead to
us devising a new restaurant concept with entrees like “chicken fried calamari”
and “calamari fried chicken.” The slogan: “Tastes like chicken.”
Austin Death Watch
Fittingly, the avowed
socialist running for City Council District 1 is also a convicted killer.[5]
Homeowners within the Austin
Independent School District will pay another $400 per year in property taxes,
which overall are 50 percent higher than six years ago.[6]
Infighting has stymied the self-organization of the city’s new Tourism
Commission.[7]
Neighborhood News
The Statesman’s traffic Web
page recorded traffic collisions at Parmer Lane and Metric Boulevard on Aug. 20
and 21, and on Metric between Lamplight Village Avenue and Running Bird Lane.
The traffic lights at the Burnet Road-Waterford Centre Boulevard-Helen Milton
Smith Way intersection failed on Aug. 25. The power briefly failed at my
apartment complex the morning of Sep. 5.
The National Science
Foundation awarded $60 million to the Texas Advanced Computing Center at the
J.J. Pickle Research Campus to build Frontera, one of the world’s fastest
supercomputers.[8]
Eastbound and Down for Good
Burt Reynolds, decades-long
celebrity whose persona was a rare combination of Southern good ol’ boy and New
York City wiseass, died Sep. 6 at age 82.[9]
The early 21st
century has become grist for nostalgia, as CNN advertises a new program,
infelicitously titled “The 2000s.”[10]
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NOTES
[1]
Villalpando, Roberto. “2018: Austin’s Third-Hottest Summer.” AAS 4 Sep.
2018: B1.
[2] Mattson,
Fred. Automotive Upholstery & Interior Restoration. Forest Lake,
Minn.: CarTech, 2017.
[3] Hill,
Doug, and Jeff Weingrad. Saturday Night: A Backstage History of Saturday
Night Live. New York City: Beech Tree Books/William Morrow, 1986;
Miller, James Andrew, and Tom Shales. Live From New York: The Complete,
Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live As Told by Its Stars, Writers, and
Guests, 2nd rev. ed. New York City: Little, Brown & Co., 2014;
Saturday Night Live. Ed. Anne Beatts and John Head. New York City: Avon
Books, 1977.
[4] Sowell,
Gary. Afro Latin Rhythm Romance Dance. Bloomington, Ind.:
AuthorHouse, 2014: 51.
[5] Hernandez,
Nina. “Lewis Conway’s Complex Candidacy.” AC 24 Aug. 2018: 12.
[6] Taboada,
Melissa B. “Austin School Taxes Set to Go Up $400.” AAS 29 Aug. 2018: A1+.
[7] Hernandez.
“Peace and Harmony?” AC 7 Sep. 2018: 16.
[8] Hawkins,
Lori. “UT Center to Get $60M Supercomputer.” AAS 29 Aug. 2018: A1+.
[9] McLellan,
Dennis. “Film Star Won Over His Audiences With Humor.” LAT 7 Sep. 2018: A1+;
Strauss, Bob. “Iconic Actor Was in It for the Long Run.” Los Angeles
Daily News 7 Sep. 2018: 1+.
[10] “Promo
Mojo.” Broadcasting & Cable 9 Jul. 2018: 38.